Stop Giving “Value”

I was reading someone’s bio and they had written that they only speak “ when they can “add value to the conversation”.

And then I read a blog and someone said, “I cut out everything and every person that did not add value to my life”.

I am not a business coach nor do I pretend to be. And yet when I hear someone speak of needing to add value to talk, or someone should add value to your life, that means you see your time, commitment, support, and energy as commodities.

As transactional. That means you’re expecting a return on your investment.

Ummm, it’s the disconnection to your spark and the lack of humanness for me.

Reducing relationships and interactions down to their subjective values lead to expectations.

And whenever you have unexamined or under verbalized expectations, you can expect disappointments, assumptions, and misunderstandings to follow.

What if you talk about being valuable instead?

Better still, what if you are intentional?

You could be more consciously aware of what you say while you’re saying it and how the words coming out of your mouth are affecting the other person/entity while you are in conversation.

Or could you be more intentional in where you give your time and energy?

You could, alertly, decide how you would like to spend the next 24 hours.

One way would be by asking yourself “what is at least one thing do I need today and one thing I want to do regardless of importance but it will fill me with Joy (don’t be mean- you’re allowed to be devilish)?

What if instead of expecting value or needing to give value, instead of assigning a value or a worth to what you say or do or what others bring to your life, what if you focused on being?

Being a better listener? Being a more mindful parent? Being less stingy with your kindness? Being a more reciprocal lover?

Being intentional is a courageous thing to do.

It says I am willing to see you. I am willing to be seen, to be more available, to communicate more than just what kind of slurpee I like.

And I will add intentional, on-purpose people to my life any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Because I find them… invaluable.